Monday, September 14, 2015

Jared North: Sexiest Man Alive

Jared North could become the next “Sexiest Man of The Moment” on The Ten. He’s groomed neatly enough for the fans of clean-cut men, but not groomed too much for the anti-manscaping crowd. He’s pretty without being too pretty for the anti-pretty crowd. If we were collectively acting as Goldilocks, he would be the “just right” we could all agree on.

Admittedly, he might be more appealing to all the tops out there, because his tight, perky bum is truly a sight to behold. You could imagine wrapping your hands on each side of his slim waist, thrusting deep and making waves in that surprisingly ample booty… Not that I’ve thought about this or anything! I’m a pure angel who would never objectify the men I write about to such a lascivious extent. (Insert halo emoji here.)

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